2004-11-30T08:55:00.000-08:00

Seeing as how I am starting over again... this entry is going to be very long...

I am have screwed up everything, I have lost everyone that means something to me. I have lost all those who cared, all those that wanted to help. I seem to be all alone now. I mean I have my boyfriend that I love to death, but I have no one else... no one I can talk to, no one to help me. I feel like a chicken with its head cut off... running around not knowing where I am going, and not know how long I will last. It kills me to know I have pushed so many people away... knowing I have hurt them in so many ways. I guess this is my way of say I am sorry. I know I have screwed a lot of people and fucked up and everything, but that seems to be the only thing I know how to do. I let everyone down... my family my friends but mostly myself. I have completely given up all hope that my life will get better. I have hurt everyone that has ever meant anything to me... but I seem to hurt those that I love most.

Life has hit me hard, I now see that there is no point in me even being here. I have wasted away to nothing. I am doing nothing for this country I am just adding to the population and poverty. What good is that? I am also very fucking pissed... I know its very late but I have been busy with work... but anyways back to what I was saying... Bush won... what kind of shit is that? That man is going to kill all of us. He complains about having to pay welfare for single mothers... hes the one thats sending their husbands to Iraq to fight in this stupid war... so hes the one causing all the problems... but I dont think anyone else sees it that way except for me.But on that note... everyone should go out and buy A Perfect Circle - eMOTIVe. It is a good cd. But I dont know what more to say for now...

*Sits back in the corner*

Ranting and Raving